Wednesday, 21 July 2010

How-To: The Batusi

"No man can live on crimefighting alone." -Adam West, Batman
Although capes and cowls aren't known for their mad dance skills, Batman once bucked the trends with the dance craze known as the Batusi. Although it was just a pun on the Watusi from the 1960s, watching a pot-bellied Batman pull these moves surrounded by gogo girls is something no man, woman, or child should go without seeing.

You can watch a clip here buuuuuut if it seems too complicated, I've compiled a handy how-to guide.
  1. First take your index finger and middle finger and make a peace sign. Then turn your hands with the fingers still in place so that the front of your hand is facing your face. Now draw the positioned fingers on the right hand across your eyes, with the eyes in between the positioned fingers. This should be done with the left hand at the same time as the right hand is doing it (see picture above).
  2. Now shake your ass a bit. Oh, and do some other weird shit with your arms while shaking said ass. Only for five (5) seconds, however. Otherwise you'll look douchetarded.
  3. Suggestively rub your hands down your spandexed body until you reach mid-hips.
  4. Lastly, grab both sides of your cape and twirl for another five (5) seconds. Oh yeah, you'll need a cape to do this... I shoulda mentioned that...

If you're still not comfortable with this, just bust out Beyonce's Shoulda Put a Ring on It and you'll safely remain the hero at any party.

You're welcome!

Friday, 16 July 2010

Save the Igloo!

In my black heart, I have little interest in charities. Animals are delicious, disease is just population control, and sick kids ain't missing much.

But this fundraiser is near and dear to my heart. Fewer scenes in cinematic history have the punch that was shown in Star Wars when Luke Skywalker stormed out of his house on Tatooine to look out upon the two-sunned horizon, dreaming of adventure. Single tear.

Little did I know that the Lars Homestead was still standing in the middle of Tunisia; a monument to hopeful moisture farmers the galaxy over.

In fact, seventeen dorks calling themselves The Pioneers went on a crusade of sorts to find Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's simple farmhouse, only to find that it hasn't weathered the harsh Tunisian elements very well.

On his site, SaveTheIgloo.info, Mark Dermul writes:

"The Pioneers were able to see with their own eyes that the Lars Homestead - lovingly dubbed the Igloo - has suffered tremendously from the climate in Tunisia.

Soon this iconic movie location will perish and thus be lost to the
Star Wars fans forever. We cannot allow that to happen.

Hence several Pioneers joined forces to start a Facebook group called '
Save the Lars Homestead' with only one goal: the full restoration of the Lars Homestead!

The plan is to go back, fully armed with the needed tools and plaster, with a small group of Pioneers for a full week sometime in 2011 or 2012 - depending on how fast we can get the funds together to make this happen.

That's where you come in! We need your support! There are several ways you can support this cause. Every bit helps, so don't hesitate and help us save the Lars Homestead."


Powerful words. Powerful... nerdy words.

Operators are standing by!

Monday, 12 July 2010

Gentlemen, Grab Your Joysticks!

Nowadays, when washed up jailbait actresses and singers need to throw off the shackles of teendom and become women, they get half naked and do a slutty video or straight-to-video movie. From Britney to Miley to all the hoochies in between, showing your tits is apparently a coming-of-age ritual.

The barely-legal ladies of the eighties, however, had to do porn.

Alyssa Milano, Drew Barrymore, and Debbie ("That's Deborah!") Gibson all took the downward spiral to lewd infamy but little did I know that Ms. Pac-Man also made the plunge.

I just found this awesome article straight from a 2005 issue of Hustler. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) it's censored so you can't see the femme Pac-Man's goodie bits.

Talk about popping your cherry...

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Follow Your Nose! To Bantha Poodoo it Goes!

So, like, unless you've been living under a rock (or actually have a respectable social life), you're aware that the Star Wars Celebration V will be going down in August.

Naturally it's a cash cow. Nerds aplenty will screw around with plastic lightsabers and ejaculate prematurely at the sight of vintage Kenner toys but the real fun bit is always the swag you get exclusively at the convention.

Today StarWars.com announced a whopping sixteen different boxes of cereal featuring Star Wars characters and goofy plays on words y'all can pick up during the collecting panels at Celebration V. Each box has campy toy premium ads on the back and your typical nutritional information along the side.

In a word, these are just awesome... I can admit with little to no embarrassment that I'll be scouring eBay for the Hothsted Flakes come August.

Click on the pics below for a bigger view and if anyone comes across the other twelve boxes, lemme know!

















Thursday, 1 July 2010

Wondie Learns to Accessorize

Yesterday I picked up Wonder Woman's milestone issue #600 which celebrated her seventy years in comics. For a gal who only puts out twelve issues a year, that ain't too shabby.

Issue #600 kicked off with the departure of the current writer, Gail Simone, who teamed up with with famed '80s penciller George Perez as an homage to her heyday back then. Amanda Connors had a cute story, there was some other filler, pin-ups, yada yada yada.

The issue was capped by the one thing that's caused the most stir, however: Diana's new Jim Lee-designed costume.

The star-spangled hip huggers are replaced by black tights with biker boots, a bomber jacket, and some pretty bad ass new bracelets. Girl finally learned to accessorize.

I'm on the fence. The costume lends itself to J. Michael Straczynki's new story direction (which I totally dig) but the jacket is pretty dated. If anyone's needed an upgrade, though, it was Wonder Woman.

That said, this wasn't exactly her first costume change. Since 1941, it has changed subtly dozens of times. Except in the '60s when she was a mod super spy and briefly in the '90s when she wore biker shorts and (again!) a stupid jacket, she's kept to her revealing American flag ensemble.

Will it last?

Hells no. DC Comics has had a long history of drastically changing up characters' looks as a marketing scheme, especially in the '90s when most of their roster of characters had wild n' weird upgrades.

From Superman turning into blue electricity to Batman suiting up in Japanese Manga armor, to Green Lantern being replaced by a graphic designer, the new costumes were met with raging fanboys and confused onlookers. Eventually, everything returned to the established status quo.

In the case of Wonder Woman, her new look and new story is pretty much geared to returning to her roots regardless. Her timeline was shifted by the Olympian gods so that her home was destroyed at a young age and now she's an urban street fighter, trying to rescue any surviving Amazons as well as returning her timeline to what it was.

More to the point, Wonder Woman doesn't make money off her comics, she rakes in the coin with licensing and products. Diana's one piece bathing suit and hooker boots are as synonymous with her look as Superman's S-shield, McDonald's golden arch, or Coke's red and white swirl. Every vinyl purse, pink t-shirt, and Happy Meal toy you see with her image reflects this look and the bottom dollar has kept it that way for the past seventy years. It will for the next seventy years too.

So while people might despise this new look, I say let it run its course and judge the woman by her character and bad ass new story instead of the duds she dons. She might just put her wondrous stamp with 21st century sensibilities yet.