Sunday, 5 July 2009

Suck on my Snake Eyes

Okay, so Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen sucked pretty hard. It's certain death for a film when the director scoffs that it isn't Shakespeare so cut it some slack. It's an excuse for sloppy storytelling and justifying annoying yokel robots.

Since I'm on my soapbox, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra will probably whomp equal to or greater than Transformers. But that said, I loooove me some G.I. Joe. I'm going in blind, expecting the worst but still hoping for the best.

My hope was encouraged today by 7Eleven's cross-promotion with the Joes and Slurpees. Featuring four 3-D cups, you can tilt 'em around and see the characters in action, jumping, shooting, screaming "Co-BRAAA" with ultra violent glee.

Although I'm more of a Destro and Scarlett fan, I was stoked to see Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and the Baroness unabashedly endorsing sugary ice and their own mad ninja skills all at once. They also had a Duke cup but seriously, who cares about him? And just how much sugar can I ingest at once?

The real selling point for me of course was the crappy toys. With their backs strapped to the straw, each character is posed in "I'm gonna fuck you UP" poses. Snake Eyes is my fave, mostly because he looks so bad ass with his Arashikage Clan sword and a gun. Storm Shadow's okay if you picture him on a trampoline, yelling "Wheee!" while the Baroness looks eerily like an Asian gal I used to work with. The resemblance is uncanny and I can't help but have her make out with the other two.

All in all, me likey and despite being easily satiated by plastic toys and sugar rushes, I'm saving my final verdict for the Joes' first foray into film. In the meantime, I've got crappy plastic toys to keep me busy.

Yo JOE!