Wednesday, 20 May 2009

The Rich Bitch or the Cutesy Pushover?

There are some debates that strike into our hearts and shake our steadfast beliefs. The existence of God. Abortion. Gay marriage.

Not me. To me, there's only been one question, one single raging debate that threatens to tear my very soul to shreds with the implications:

Should Archie end up with Betty? Or Veronica?

The love triangle has been the stuff of legends for over sixty-five years but it was announced on Archie's own site that this September's landmark Archie #600 will answer the age-old question with "The Proposal."

Blasphemy! Fie! you bellow into the night. How can this be? Well, this issue allows Archie to finally leave highschool and grow up five years (and hopefully lose the acne too). After graduation, the eternal ginger player will finally pop the question. But to who? WHO?!

Clearly, this isn't a beauty contest. Both girls have the exact same body. Pretty much the same face. The hair's different but let's look past the purely petty.

I know everyone loooooves Betty and she's so sweet and the girl-next-door and is a natural blond and blah, blah, blah. She's a pushover. A worrier. Archie will cheat on her with a transvestite hooker after one year, mark my words.

Now I've made it no secret that I'm a Veronica supporter. The raven-haired temptress has gusto, craftiness, and a two-storey shoe closet. Archie would be too scared to cheat and too comfortable to threaten losing it.

At the end of the day and by the time Archie says I do, however, the results are obvious. Part of Veronica's attraction to Archie is her rivalry with Betty and keeping her from him. Archie will clue in, marry Betty, Veronica and Reggie will have angry hate sex, and Jughead will make hamburger jokes. Maybe Moose will say something stupid.

And it's this predictability that squashes my romanticism. It's this tried-and-true course that has me gunning for the underdog, the misunderstood bitch, the one who might have a few cards left up her designer sleeve.

Fingers crossed you get that rock on your finger, Veronica!